A Story About Socks

by Melinda, in category SPD Things, Useful

Of all the things I imagined my children might have challenges with socks was not one of them! Despite that shoes and socks can be the cause of a 20 minute battle that our morning routine really can’t accommodate.

Our oldest boy has Sensory Processing Disorder, a complex and frustrating condition that effects the way his brain processes information received from his senses, making him very intolerant of lots of sensory experiences, like wearing clothing. Especially socks. In his world all socks are lined with thumb tacks and are so painful to wear they can often be found flying through the air at our house as a result of being flung from an offending foot at great speed. Given this detail about socks you can imagine how well he goes with shoes. Lets just say they aren’t aerodynamic either. You can read more about Sensory Processing Disorder here.

Despite occupational therapy and hours of brushing, which helped enormously, there is still a cold war on socks that erupts to out and out war most mornings that can take anything up to an hour to negotiate a truce for so we can head off to work and school. I cannot tell you how exhausting and frustrating this is for all of us, particularly seeing as none of us are morning people to begin with!

After a lot of observation it seemed to me that the biggest issue was the little lumpy bits socks get at the corner of the toes, as things were slightly less explosive if he put them on inside out. So Google and I went in search of seam free socks for sensory kids and found them. Hello SmartKnitKids Seamless Sensory Socks, which you can buy here. Hallelujah and praise be to the entrepreneurial angels that manufacture such things for our mornings have been (mostly) saved!

These gems are absolutely seamless socks with no shaped heel. That means no annoying pokey bits at the toes and no trouble with putting them on upside down. Perfect for children experiencing the hypersensitivity that comes with Sensory Processing Disorder (or just hate socks), and bliss for parents who know the stress of dealing with flying sock meltdowns regularly. Well worth the more than $10 per pair investment required to acquire them, despite it feeling like extortion at the time.

I will warn of one unforeseen side effect. I have become obsessive with socks and often hear myself saying (loudly and passionately) ‘PLEASE do not wear those socks outside!’ or ‘make sure your socks go IN your bag’. It has paid off though, we have only lost a couple in the year since buying them.

So if the sock stand off is part of your morning routine I highly recommend heading over to www.itmakessense.com.au and investing in some seam free socks. They might just thaw the cold war on socks at your place too.

May232015Jun 13 2019

A Little Bad is a Good Thing

by Melinda, in category Parenting Things, Useful

I recently had a conversation with a friend about her 4 year old son and his newly discovered kleptomania. He had managed to steal something from Bunnings during their last visit. ‘What should I do?’ – she asked me. My advice was to put him back in the car and take him and the offending item back. He should apologise I said. ‘But he’s only 4! she wailed – ‘I don’t want him to feel bad’.

I don’t want him to feel bad. That made me sit on my heels for a bit. The Mama Bear in me totally gets that. We want to protect our cubs from the hurt the world dishes up. Perfectly normal, but is it really what is best for children? The part of me that has been charged with raising responsible, compassionate and resilient adults is not siding with Mama Bear.

What bad feeling was she protecting him from? Embarrassment? Guilt? Remorse? Shame? Those feelings are a natural and very healthy response to being caught stealing. I want them to feel that so next time the opportunity presents itself they will choose NOT to do it to avoid feeling bad. Feeling badly will deliver far more meaningful consequences for that behaviour choice than any tactic a parent could dream up, although I do suggest one of those is warranted too. Our job is not to protect them from life, it’s to prepare them for a life isn’t always fair, kind or forgiving. Once a bad experience has happened nothing can be done to make it un-happen. The only choice left is how to respond to it.

So what good can come of letting the bad feelings have their place? If we shield kids from those bad feelings we rob them of the chance to learn coping skills. I want my boys to experience these feelings while I am around so we can talk about it. About how they can make amends and about how bad feelings are just feelings, they don’t define who they are as people. Part of my job is to teach them how to deal with embarrassment, hurt, disappointment, shame, loss, anger and remorse. To teach them how to respond constructively, apologise meaningfully and make it right. To teach them how to be emotionally resilient. It’s my job to demonstrate those behaviours myself so they can see me dealing with it and moving on. The sooner they learn that life is not always fair (an echo from my Dad – ‘my darling who ever told you life was going to be fair?’) the happier they will be. As parents we need to be brave enough to let them experience adversity so they will know from experience that it isn’t a catastrophe and that mistakes aren’t the end of the world.

So how do we balance the burning desire to protect them with the need to let them experience life and figure this stuff out? Like most parenting dilemmas there is no one right answer. Know what is right for your child. Be confident in their, and your, ability to cope. Be their safe place and tell them, often, you love them no matter what. My boys know they could do the worst and I would still love them. I might not like their behaviour or condone their choices, but no matter what that is, I will always love them.

As parents we need to understand the value of adversity in our children’s life. A little bad is a good thing.

May162015Jun 13 2019

Combi Cake

by Melinda, in category Cakes Things, Creative

Combivan Birthday Cake

I made this little beauty this week, I say little because it is only a four inch round! The inspiration came from a fondant pieced three dimensional version that was intricate in detail and beyond what I could manage in time and talent. Instead I designed the Combi in Photoshop Elements. I am rubbish at drawing curves freehand and, to be truthful, not much of a freehand artist at all, so I cheated a bit (well, a lot) by turning a photo of a Combivan into a sketch in Photoshop and using portions of basic shapes to make up the design. Thank you Photoshop for making my average talents useful!

I then took the finished design to my local cake studio had it printed on sheet fondant. I am LOVING printing on fondant – it really plays to my strengths and I can think of so many ways to make use of that wee technological gem.

The cake part was very simple. The daisies are cut with a flower cutter and dried in plastic artists pallets from the $2 Shop to give them some shape. I adhered the printed Combi to a piece of rolled fondant with some water and set it to dry on a bit a Glad Bake draped over a glass vase. A vase carefully selected to have the same curve as my cake.

I added some headlights using a flower centre press mold, added wing mirrors, wheels and let it dry hard before adhering the whole piece to the front of my now fondant covered cake. Speaking of covering cakes in fondant – this was the first cake I had covered in fondant myself, without the help of my extraordinarily talented Sister In Law, just by following the instructions in a Craftsy online class. I can add to the lessons offered here one I learned the hard way – take your rings off before attempting to roll and smooth fondant – I ended up with a big divot missing out the front of the Combi made by accident by one of my rings – oops. I covered it up with the little flowers on the front – cute but not intentional!

May152015Jun 20 2019

Why Pocket Scrapbooking?

by Melinda, in category Creative, Pocket Scrapbooking Things

Becky Higgins Project Life has been around since 2010 and has revolutionised the scrapbooking world. Big words I know – but a fair assessment. Essentially Becky has provided a foundation for scrapbooks that is part creative genius and part 1980s pocket album. It gets memories recorded, fast AND satisfies all the urges for buying of pretty/shiny/glittery things that ‘normal’ scrapping provides. Perfection.

So why pocket scrapping? Well…

Its F A S T and I am time poor;
There are LOTS of templates and other fun shopping opportunities available;
It gives our everyday stories a home;
The year-by-year format allows the through line of our stories to show more clearly;
It gives the big stories space and makes our family album more special.

I build my pages digitally using whatever templates take my fancy. For 2015 it’s Just Jamie’s Ready To Go templates from the Storyteller series – just lovely and because these are layered templates, all the hard work is done!

The pages for each year go into ring bound albums (usually two will hold a year), mostly because I don’t have the patience to wait a WHOLE YEAR before printing and because I like to have a home for all the detritus we collect in the shape of certificates, tickets, drawings, school reports, birthday cards and other assorted memory tied things. It all goes in the ‘big book’, as my boys call it, in Marbig plastic sleeves from Officeworks.

Right now I am still working my way through 2014, I’m up to October, and no, I don’t feel like I’m ‘behind’. Stories can’t be told until they have happened and I like to have some distance from things before I write about them. It lets the stories mature somehow and I prefer my journaling when I have let that happen. I also scrap as things happen. No counting pages or weeks, some months have just a two page spread and others have five or six – or more. Birthdays always have more. August and September are birthday season around here and usually run to about twenty pages! Whatever it takes to feel like the year has been recorded. Our life is the formula.

I have to say I am loving this format. It has provided a home for our everyday stories and left space in my scrapbooking albums to really dig into the deeper stories. If something gets a page in there you know it’s something special and that’s how I want that album to feel.

The templates I used for 2014 are Katie Pertiet’s Pocket Pages Layered Templates. I had done none of 2014 by the time May rolled around and was looking for something I could smash out quickly and with minimal fuss – have to say I am well pleased with the results!

May122015May 23 2015

Dirty Secrets of a Working Mother

by Melinda, in category Parenting Things, Useful

I am a working mum of two loud, full speed, beautiful boys who are now 7 and 5.

Just before Son One turned one I went back to work full time, because both my husband and I had been made redundant. It was the best choice for our family at the time. It was hard leaving him, and even harder picking him up because he didn’t want to come home! I can see daycare has been good for him, he is socially good with other kids and has learned and experienced things that he never would have if he had stayed at home with me – simply because we don’t have the resources daycare has. That little stint taught me I’m a better Mum when I spend some time at work. I’m more patient, happier and more at peace.

When Son Two was five months old I was offered an opportunity to work a permanent part time job – almost unheard of in the IT industry. I had not intended to go back to work so soon but they were prepared to be very flexible and so it was too good to pass up. Especially seeing as I had made the investment to be Masters qualified in this field and it moves at a cracking pace, to be away for too long would make me practically useless. So, that decision has made me a working Mum of two boys.

I figured I had some idea how to do that, my Mum had worked most of my childhood and done it with apparent ease. I imagined we would find a routine that provided the work/life balance we needed and settle into it for a couple of years. Boy did that idea do my head in for a while! My house does not get vacuumed or mopped on a scheduled day of the week. The washing (loving referred to as Mount Wash-more) does not always get folded and put away before it gets worn again and the dishes do not always get cleaned before bed. So I mean, literally, there’s dirt.

The dirty secret is that there is no such thing as that magic work/life balance formula. The secret is to do what needs doing first RIGHT NOW and to keep doing it. That means there is sometimes dirt. Sometimes housework isn’t first on the list. Sometimes playing with the boys is first, sometimes sleep for me is first, sometimes work has to be done first. Sometimes I need some creative time to do some scrapbooking in the shade of Mount Wash-more.

The real secret is that all that is what my family needs, this is what makes us happy right now and that’s okay.